The Puppy Poem

“The Puppy Poem” to Pack Alpha with Wolves by Fred Scott

There’s a Setter in your sweater and a Bulldog in your briefs,
there are Boxers in your boxers and they never wanna leave.
There’s a Shih Tzu whose inhabiting your filthy dungarees,
and when you drop your drawers there’s that nasty Bichon Frise.

How ’bout a Schnauzer in your trousers and those Terriers in your togs?
And the baying staying playing’s from a Chinese Crested Dog.
What with foxes in your soxes and the Shar Peis in your shoes,
and that Collie in your collar so you’re never gonna lose.

Know your duds are filled with Pugs, know there’s Chow Chows in your chaps,
and your sportswear’s full of Shorthairs, and there’s Huskies in your hats,
Akitas in your speedos, Springer Spaniels in your spats,
and an Afghan in your caftan, there can’t be too much of that.

When your neck is on the line and the shit has come to pass,
when you realize you’re hurting and you need to fix it fast,
when you’re waiting for a godsend and you want to make it last,
just reach down low, make a fist, and pull puppies from your ass.

From the Ahrimanes Clan Newsletter September 2005.

Memorable Quotes (Part 175)

The Horde!

(To the tune of “Rawhide!”, as sung by the Blues Brothers)

Intro:
Shambling, shambling, shambling
Shambling, shambling, shambling (etc.)

Shambling, shambling, shambling,
Keep those zombies shambling!
Your rivals will be scrambling to hide!
Don’t try to get to know them,
Just rush and Lucky Blow them,
Make more zombies from old ones as they die.

Bring ’em out! Take ’em down! Chop ’em up!
Bring ’em back! Fake ’em out! Box ’em in! The Horde!
Bring ’em back! Chop ’em up! Fake ’em out! Take ’em down! Box ’em in!
Bring ’em o-o-o-ut . . . The Ho-o-orde!

YAH!

— Clan Newsletter Samedi Feb. 2002

Memorable Quotes (Part 174)

We are not “weenies”, we are simply “Clan Deficient”.
— VEKN Clan Newsletter Caitiff, September 2001

Memorable Quotes (Part 173)

“Trophies are for lunatics. Well, and Norm.” — Peter

Reference: rec.games.trading-cards.jyhad

Memorable Quotes (Part 172)

“R. M. Renfield, aetat 59. Sanguine temperament, great physical strength, morbidly excitable, periods of gloom, ending in some fixed idea which I cannot make out. I presume that the sanguine temperament itself and the disturbing influence end in a mentally-accomplished finish, a possibly dangerous man, probably dangerous if unselfish. In selfish men, caution is as secure an armour for their foes as for themselves. What I think of on this point is, when self is the fixed point the centripetal force is balanced with the centrifugal. When duty, a cause, etc., is the fixed point, the latter force is paramount, and only accident or a series of accidents can balance it.” — From Dr. John Seward’s journal in Dracula (1897) by Bram Stoker.

---

“I’m loyal to you Master, I ‘m your slave, I didn’t betray you! Oh no, don’t! Don’t kill me! Let me live, please! Punish me, torture me, but let me live! I can’t die with all those lives on my conscience! All that blood on my hands!” — Renfield in Dracula (1931).

An Invite, To Eternity

Wilt thou go with me, sweet maid,
Say, maiden, wilt thou go with me
Through the valley-depths of shade,
Of night and dark obscurity;
Where the path has lost its way,
Where the sun forgets the day,
Where there’s nor life nor light to see,
Sweet maiden, wilt thou go with me!

Where stones will turn to flooding streams,
Where plains will rise like ocean waves,
Where life will fade like visioned dreams
And mountains darken into caves,
Say, maiden, wilt thou go with me
Through this sad non-identity,
Where parents live and are forgot,
And sisters live and know us not!

Say, maiden; wilt thou go with me
In this strange death of life to be,
To live in death and be the same,
Without this life or home or name,
At once to be and not to be –
That was and is not -yet to see
Things pass like shadows, and the sky
Above, below, around us lie?

The land of shadows wilt thou trace
And look nor know each other’s face.
The present mixed with reasons gone,
And past and present all as one.
Say maiden, can thy life be led
To join the living to the dead?
Then trace thy footsteps on with me,
We’re wed to one eternity.

— John Clare, “An Invite, To Eternity“

Memorable Quotes (Part 171)

“Yeah, melee weapons tend to get the, erm, short end of the stick.”

— Lönkka in a discussion about the effectiveness of melee weapons.

Memorable Quotes (Part 170)

“Nobody I have played VTES with played for fun (..), the only reason to sit at a table was to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.” — Mike Summers

Memorable Quotes (Part 169)

“I don’t negotiate with terrorists!” — overheard now a couple of times by different players lately, when another player was offered a deal he felt threatened by or didn’t like at all

Memorable Quotes (Part 168)

An EC 2013 anecdote:

“(…) Therefore, according to the Swedes, the safe level is 24 pool. (…)
[A certain French player, apparently not fully conscious about the danger he was in, was counseled by his prey]:

• “Do not tap everything. Leave something to defend.”
• “I will survive.”
• “You will not survive.”
• “But I have 18 pool, and my predator has only three minions.”
• “Then you’re dead.”

And indeed, he had to take three times Govern plus Conditioning, and was ousted. 18 pool is not a safe level, if you’re sitting behind a Swede.”

Reported by SLave (Polish VtES player) in Polish VtES forum.

Memorable Quotes (Part 167)

“Do your magic!“– Csaba (Hungarian VtES player)
“My magic is low, I only use the Assault Rifle.” — Giulio (Italian VtES player)

Overheard during the VtES EC 2013.

Memorable Quotes (Part 166)

“Potence is kind of a vote modifier.” — Csaba (Hungarian VtES players) after being asked why his opinion was always asked even though he didn’t controlled any votes.

Memorable Quotes (Part 165)

“I should use dogs next time, they are more faithful…” — Emiliano (after several of his Rock Cats got stolen) during the Belgian ECQ 2013

Memorable Quotes (Part 164)

“Boy Toy with Tasha Morgan… that’s a real love story!” — after said vampire was recruiting said retainer (Emiliano at the Belgian ECQ 2013)

Memorable Quotes (Part 163)

“A ‘friend’ is just an enemy that hasn’t attacked yet.” — Skipper (Madagascar)

Replace “friend” with “cross-table buddy”, and you’ll see how it becomes true.

Memorable Quotes (Part 162)

“Nobody loves you, when you’re playing Tupdogs.” — Männele during the German ECQ 2013

Memorable Quotes (Part 161)

“A key skill in V:TES is being able to do your thing while staying under the radar (…)” — jamesatzephyr

Reference: VEKN.net.

Memorable Quotes (Part 160)

“Of course I lied. It’s poker, Phil.” — Tony G.

Another great Poker quote, which applies to some aspects of VtES as well.

Unspoken Rules of Being Badass

A badass isn’t someone wears ripped leather jackets, a badass isn’t someone who breaks stuff to look tough, and a badass isn’t someone who fights for the fun of fighting. That’s the definition of a poser. Being a badass is completely different.

1. First rule of being a badass. A badass does not talk about being a badass. Period.
2. Second rule of being a badass, a badass does not try to be a badass or look tough. A badass simply is a badass.
3. A badass stays true to themselves, always. This means being themselves for themselves, and not being fake to impress others.
4. A badass does not give up. Badasses will always push themselves for the better, no matter how hard it gets.
5. A badass is not a jerk. A badass does not prey on the weak, and shows kindness in return to those who are kind.
6. A badass knows his/her limits. Don’t be stupid, you’re not Superman, you’ll die if you jump off a building.
7. A badass does not make enemies or go looking for fights. They do not fights that aren’t worth fighting either.

Any breaking of these rules is grounds revoking of the status of being a badass. If this happens, a badass must once again prove they are worthy of being badass by following the rules. A badass can only be determined by the opinions of others.

— As seen on Urban Dictionary.

Now replace “badass” with good player and you’ve got a perfect definition for that as well!

Memorable Quotes (Part 159)

“I will throw a chair at the War Ghoul then.” –Unknown Female

Overheard in a gamer’s pub (where also VtM Live Roleplaying takes place) in Germany.

Memorable Quotes (Part 158)

“First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?” — Hannibal Lecter

Also good deck building advice!

Memorable Quotes (Part 157)

“Ascendance is all. Ascendance is supreme.” — AaronC commenting on his own deck.

Memorable Quotes (Part 156)

“Rewinding is not the only available remedy. If rewinding is not logistically feasible, some other remedy should be applied.” — LSJ commenting on a remark that rewinding was not possible later in the game.

Reference: VtES Usenet Newsgroup (funny thread, you should read it!!)

Memorable Quotes (Part 155)

“I remember the furor over Slaughterhouse, and later over Brinksmanship. I remember the furor over Baltimore Purge. I remember the furor over Meddling of Semsith. The sky may not be falling.” — Emmit Svenson during a heated discussion about the brokenness of Gehenna event cards.

Reference: Gehenna Events causing players to leave ..

Memorable Quotes (Part 154)

“Putting any combat card on a Shadow Court Satyr that is not an Earth Meld is a violation of play to win and thus prohibited by the tournament rules.” — The Lasombra on vekn.net in a discussion regarding Shadow Court Satyr.

Also report to Kevin in Las Vegas for immediate punishment ..