“The Puppy Poem” to Pack Alpha with Wolves by Fred Scott
There’s a Setter in your sweater and a Bulldog in your briefs,
there are Boxers in your boxers and they never wanna leave.
There’s a Shih Tzu whose inhabiting your filthy dungarees,
and when you drop your drawers there’s that nasty Bichon Frise.
How ’bout a Schnauzer in your trousers and those Terriers in your togs?
And the baying staying playing’s from a Chinese Crested Dog.
What with foxes in your soxes and the Shar Peis in your shoes,
and that Collie in your collar so you’re never gonna lose.
Know your duds are filled with Pugs, know there’s Chow Chows in your chaps,
and your sportswear’s full of Shorthairs, and there’s Huskies in your hats,
Akitas in your speedos, Springer Spaniels in your spats,
and an Afghan in your caftan, there can’t be too much of that.
When your neck is on the line and the shit has come to pass,
when you realize you’re hurting and you need to fix it fast,
when you’re waiting for a godsend and you want to make it last,
just reach down low, make a fist, and pull puppies from your ass.
From the Ahrimanes Clan Newsletter September 2005.