As the clock ticks down towards midnight the fate of the Royal Order of the Edenic Groundskeepers and their deadly trove remains uncertain. Which faction will prevail and what do they want? The victories of four Methuselahs have been recorded but their motivation remains shrouded in mystery (Bologna, Brisbane, Cambell, Rome). Motivated Methuselah that launch their attacks in the year’s final moments could sway the outcome.
Tonight is the final night for Eden’s Legacy.
Tomorrow is the last day for submitting reports for the final tally.
— Ben Swainbank
VTES Storyline Coordinator
VtES Storyline Website
For our bi-weekly VtES league games (and league) in Bochum, Germanywe use the following rules :
- League games take place during the regular VtES meetings in Bochum.
Only the first game(s) of a meeting count towards the VtES League.
The last league game played during a season is played during the last meeting before Christmas — at this day also prizes are distributed.
- League games are conducted following the the official VEKN tournament rules, unless stated otherwise.
All rulebooks, rulings and cardtexts are in effect as soon as their published.
New cards are allowed for play in the league games the day they are published.
We reserve the possibility to use special rules/formats for league games when announced so before the regular VtES meetings.
- The timelimit for the games are two hours.
Are the number of players attending the meeting 6, 7 or 11, then tables with 6 or 7 playersare allowed, but with the following special rules:
- For a 6 player table the time is extended to 2.5 hours.
- For a 7 player table the time is extended to 3 hours.
- If there are more than 5 players at a table, all cards that refer to the number of players at the table (e.g. Conservative Agitation, Parity Shift, Slave Auction) are regarded as if there are 5 players at the table.
- During the year we collect a number of prizes for the league. At the end of the year’s last league meeting the prizes are distributed in the following way:
- All players present at this meeting, can choose one of the prizes in the order of the league’s final ranking.
- Is somebody missing during this meeting, and he hasn’t told anybody about his favourite prize, no prize is reserved for him, but he can reclaim a prize later that haven’t been chosen yet.
“For me the question is not if I use Pentex, but how many of them.” — Martin (hungarian VtES Player)
Reference: VtES Usenet Newsgroup.
This is the VtES-style version of Dead Parrot Sketch by Monty Python, first seen on the telly some thirty years ago.
- MR. CORDOVERA
- John Cleese
- STORE OWNER
- Michael Palin
- A customer enters a game store.
- Mr. Cordovera: ‘ello, I wish to register a complaint.
- (The owner does not respond.)
- Mr. Cordovera: ‘ello, Miss?
- Owner: What do you mean “miss”?
- Mr. Cordovera: I’m sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
- Owner: We’re closin’ for good.
- Mr. Cordovera: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this booster box what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
- Owner: Oh yes, uh, Nights of Reckoning…What’s, uh…What’s wrong with it?
- Mr. Cordovera: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
- Owner: No, no, it’s uh,…it’s evolin’.
- Mr. Cordovera: Look, matey, I know a dead expansion when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
- Owner: No no it’s not dead, it’s, it’s evolvin’! Remarkable expansion, the Imbued, isn’it, ay? Beautiful mechanics!
- Mr. Cordovera: The mechanics don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
- Owner: Nononono, no, no! It’s evolvin’!
- Mr. Cordovera: All right then, if it’s evolvin’, I’ll wake it up! (shaking the box) ‘ello, Mister Hunter Imbued! I’ve got a lovely fresh monster to block for you if you show…
- (Owner hits the box)
- Owner: There, it moved!
- Mr. Cordovera: No, it didn’t, that was you hitting the box!
- Owner: I never!!
- Mr. Cordovera: Yes, you did!
- Owner: I never, never did anything…
- Mr. Cordovera: (yelling and hitting the box repeatedly) ‘ello Imbued!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your eight o’clock game start!
- (Takes booster out of the box and rips it open. Throws the cards up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. The other customers in the store ignore the cards on the floor.)
- Mr. Cordovera: Now that’s what I call a dead expansion.
- Owner: No, no…..No, it’s out-of-print!
- Mr. Cordovera: Out-of-print?!?
- Owner: Yeah! You bought it, just as it was startin’ through! Nights of Reckoning sold out pretty fast, major. So people don’t recognize the cards anymore.
- Mr. Cordovera: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That expansion is definitely dead, and when I purchased it not ‘alf an ‘our ago, you assured me that its total lack of playability was due to it bein’ intellectual and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
- Owner: Well, it’s…it’s, ah…probably pining for the very best players.
- Mr. Cordovera: Pinin’ for the Very best players?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did all cards fall flat on their faces the moment I ripped open the boosters?
- Owner: The Imbued Hunter Mortal cards prefer lyin’ on their faces! Remarkable minions, aren’t they, champ? Lovely print quality!
- Mr. Cordovera: Look, I took the liberty of examining these booster foils when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason the cards didn’t fall out, was that there closed back again with adhesive tape.
- Owner: Well, o’course they were glued together! If I hadn’t glued them together again, fanatic players would have ripped them open without buying the booster box first, Wham, bam! No business for me, guv.
- Mr. Cordovera: “Wham“?!? Mate, these boosters wouldn’t “wham” if you put four million volts through them! The expansion’s bleedin’ demised!
- Owner: No no! It’s pinin’ for the best!
- Mr. Cordovera: It’s not pinin’! It’s passed on! This expansion is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, It rests in peace! If you hadn’t glued the boosters back together they’d be pushing up the daisies! Its tournament appearances are now ‘istory! It’s off the twig! It’s kicked the bucket, it’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! This is an Ex-Expansion!!
- Owner: Well, I’d better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the shop, and uh, we’re right out of vampire expansions.
- Mr. Cordovera: I see. I see, I get the picture.
- Owner: I got Rage.
- Mr. Cordovera: Pray, is it popular?
- Owner: Nnnnot really.
- Mr. Cordovera: Well it’s hardly a bloody replacement, is it?!!???!!?
- Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
- Mr. Cordovera: Well.
- Owner: (quietly) D’you…. d’you want to come back to my place?
- Mr. Cordovera: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
Also refer to Monty Python’s Dead Parrot Sketch and it’s cultural significance on Wikipedia.
Preliminary VtES cards for the Gelsenkirchen Build-Your-Own-Storyline:
Left: Science Park
Right: Music Theatre
Left: Town Hall
Right: Urban Forest
Definition of “Week of Nightmares“:
1: master card in VtES requiring Ravnos (see picture on the right).
2: a traditional week long event leading up to a Continental VtES Championship. Usual events include:
- constant pickup games,
- Duffin drafts,
- regular drafts,
- create-a-clan tournaments,
- constructed tournaments.
(And now go and change your vote on the poll for a “Week of Nightmares” event for the EC2010!)